It sure seemed like there were more people than last year and it seemed like everyone was having fun.

I really like all the vendors, food(naturally) and merchandise.  The “White Trash Boutique” was back for another year.  I’m guessing they make a lot of money at this event.  I’m just guessing!

There were quite a few tattoo/piercing shops setup, this one caught my eye because it had a full pricelist of all the piercings they could do:

I had to go home and google “Labret” and “Tragus”.   They weren’t as bad as I originally thought.  I also noticed if you get both nipples pierced, you get a $5 discount.  Score!

Of course there were a ton of bikes, trikes, and everything else.

I really liked this tan bike.  Not too flashy, and only $12500!

The kids got a kick out of this bike, it had what looked like real snakeskin accents on the seats.

Check out the gas cap!

We again had the BEST corn dog ever, then followed it up with some deep fried Oreos!

Fantastic!

The local cagefighting group was all setup, but we walked by 3 or 4 times and never saw anyone getting their ass kicked in there.  Kinda disappointing…

This ice cream shop had a cool old John Deere engine running their ice cream machines:

And there were swords for sale too!  Alas, no Frostmourne, though.

There was so much more I couldn’t take pictures of all of it, but I did find time to photograph these nice ladies offering free motorcycle washes.  How generous of them!  They’re like Mother Teresa!  Only blonder.  And more ass-ey.

The big finale was a concert by headliner “Uncle Kracker”.  We didn’t stick around for that, but the  “Original KISS Army” tribute band was pretty frickin’ cool.  I’m not even a KISS fan but these guys kicked ass and put on a great show.

How awesome is that?

We had a ton of fun.  The Jamboree is still going today, with vendors and food from 9am until noon.   There’s still time to get your tragus pierced!!!

It’s June, so you know what that means. Mining Expo! Wooooooooooo!

I’ve blogged about previous years.  And this year will be no different!  Today is the big day for the public to visit, so we’ll be on our way in a couple hours.  Why yes, I will come home with a giant  Bag o’ Swag.  Thanks for asking!

More info over at the ECVA site.

The route took us west through Tillamook then north on highway 101 to beautiful Rockaway Beach, OR.

Rockaway Beach is a small, quiet town, but my family has been going there every year for at least 25 years?  We stay in the same cabin every time, because it’s cheap and right on the beach.  Sounds great, right?

well, here’s 12-year-old ElkoSteve describing Rockaway (In Whiny Kid Voice):

This place is boooooooooooring! There’s no TV, it’s cold and rainy all the time!  The beds suck and there’s no dishwasher! Mom and Dad park the van and we have to WALK everywhere!  I’m scared of that bottle opener!  There’s only one arcade in the town and the games suck!  All we can do to pass the time is read and play cards.  Waaaaaah!

35-year-old ElkoSteve is much more comfortable here, but wow, do the beds still suck.  This is the view from the large window on the backside of the house:

Not bad for $50 a night, right?  Here’s the bottle opener young ElkoSteve was afraid of:

Freaky!  We were only there for one night, but we still had a lot of fun.

The dogs ran around on the beach like lunatics, pausing only for necessary activities:

It was a positively beautiful day, which is uncommon for the Oregon coast in May.

It turns out that there was a Kite Festival going on, with lots of kites (naturally) and food and craft vendors.  Rockaway Beach was hoppin’!

We left Rockaway on Sunday.  On the way back, we stopped in Tillamook for, what else, CHEESE!

I love Tillamook Cheese.  I’ve tried many other kinds, but Tillamook’s Medium Cheddar is, by far, the best.  We bought way too much of it, and I bought a little squishy loaf too.  First, unsquished:

Now SQUISH IT!

I can feel my stress level decreasing already.

We made it back home in time for my brother’s engagement party.  DaveKnows and Mile73 are so cute together!  While we were there, Ollie was accused of licking half the frosting off the cake.  Come on, does this look like the face of a cake-licker?

He’s so cute!  I think Ed licked the cake.  Yeah, it was Ed.

The kids went back to Elko with grandma on Monday, so the wife and I could pretty much do whatever we wanted.  Which meant girlie drinks, soccer, and pinball, of course!!!

That girlie drink is from dinner with Dave and Heather at The 5th Quadrant, the soccer game is, of course, the Portland Timbers against Montreal, and the pinball is none other than the Ground Kontrol Classic Arcade!  Possibly the best place to play pinball on the west coast!  I rocked that Demolition Man machine.

This post is getting very long, but there’s still a few things to talk about.  Almost there!

We absolutely had to visit Voodoo Doughnut after hearing about it on various Food Network shows over the last couple years.

Behold, the Bacon Maple Bar:

It was everything I hoped it would be.  Very very yummy.  If you look closely, you can also see the donut with Cap’n Crunch all over it (Captain My Captain) and the purple one is called the “Grape Ape”

For our final night in Portland, we met David and Heather as well as the wife’s friends Gary and Sara for dinner at some food carts in SE Portland.  The first one is called Potato Champion and we had some of the best poutine we’ve ever had!  The fries were outstanding and the gravy had an interesting tang to it, with lots of onions.  It was served steaming hot as you can tell:

Dave, put your iPhone down, there’s poutine to eat!!

For dessert we walked about 20 yards over to the Whiffies cart.

They are fried pies, similar to the Cornish Pasties sold at BJ Bull in Elko.  Whiffies are deep fried, though, which gives them a nice crispy, bubbly crust.  We tried the Barbecue Pork (fantastic!) the Strawberry-Rhubarb (phenomenal!) and the Chocolate-Peanut Butter (Freakin sweet!).  A fine ending to a long, happy trip.  We got to see lots of our friends and family that we’ve missed for years.  If we didn’t catch you this time, we’ll see you in August for the DaveKnows/Mile73 wedding!

Oh yeah, one last picture.  It snowed off and on while driving back to Elko, here’s a shot from the cascades.  See everyone next time!

I get yelled at if I don’t include a map of our trip so here it is!  We took 84 in from the east through Boise on the way there, then south through Bend and Winnemucca on the way back.

We took the boys out of school early on the 12th and left Elko around noon.  Because we brought the dogs this time and we weren’t too sure how they would do, we split up the drive into 2 days.  We drove up through Jackpot on 93 but instead of heading toward Twin Falls like we usually do, we drove west toward beautiful Buhl, ID.  A friend from work grew up there and told us it’s a great little town and a scenic drive so we decided to give it a shot.  The route took us into Buhl, which was cute, but the best part was the drive alongside the Snake River through some stunning scenery.  Of course we didn’t take any pictures, but trust me, there were waterfalls, cliffs, significant greenery, and animals aplenty.  We met up with I-84 around the town of Bliss and continued on our way.  We stopped for the night at the Holiday Inn in Ontario, Oregon.  The wife was feeling all congested from a cold she caught before we left and we remembered that Oregon requires a prescription to buy Pseudoephedrine (sudafed).  We could have headed back across the border but we ended up buying another product that didn’t work as well.  Curse you, Oregon and your meth-related laws! *shakes fist*

Alright, so we got up semi-early on the 13th and headed toward Portland.  We again passed the replica Stonehenge and didn’t stop to look at it.  One of these days kids, I promise.  The dogs got a quick stop in The Dalles to stretch their legs:

We arrived in Portland around 3:00pm.  Our first visit was with the wife’s grandmother, who is still hanging on at 93 years old.  We don’t know how much longer we’ll have her so it was great to see her again.

The first few days in Portland we stayed with some friends of ours, Jim and Joy and their family.  It was great seeing them after all these years!  Nothing too exciting happened, but my son did find a sweet frog in their backyard and we took some cool pictures with my wife’s new camera.  Check out the detail on that froggie!

Oooh, also while we were there, Jim fell on his bicycle and tore himself up good.  We only got pictures of his fingers but there were more body parts skinned up.  Shoulder, elbow, knee, etc. Hope you’re feeling better man!

mmmm…meaty!

So the main reason we were in Portland was for the wife’s cousin’s wedding.  I was tricked into going when I heard it was going to be held at the “Hostess” house in Vancouver, WA.  But I’d been bamboozled!  There was nary a Twinkie or Ding Dong to be found.  But there was cake.  No lie!  I especially enjoyed the topper:

The lucky couple’s vehicle was tastefully decorated as well.  Here are some highlights.  Click to enlarge!  er…maybe I shouldn’t have said that.

After the wedding we drove back out to Hillsboro where we had boarded the dogs at the PetSmart Doggie DayCare.  We found out that little Ollie had to be put in solitary because he was being mean to the other doggies and people.  He’s such a little stinker!  We bailed him out and headed toward the Pacific Ocean!

That’s all for now.  Part 2 will come soon, and include Rockaway Beach, kites, cheese, hot wings, donuts with bacon on them, poutine, fruity drinks, soccer, dogs on couches, pinball, and pie!  Stay tuned…

Inspired by www.portlandpoutine.com I decided to make my own at home, Elko-style!

The ingredients are very simple.  Here’s what we started with:

• Walmart Crinkle-cut fries ( I told you this was Elko-style)
• Hennings Cheddar Cheese curds from Wisconsin( but we won’t hold that against them)
• Heinz Classic Chicken gravy

We cooked up the fries just like the package directions, but added about 5 more minutes because we figured they needed to be good and crispy to hold up to the cheesy and gravy.  Looking back I think we could have gone a few minutes more.

Threw on the cheese curds and the gravy:

and VIOLA!  Poutine!

Looks pretty good, doesn’t it?  The fam enjoyed it, but like I said before, the fries probably needed to be a little crispier.  And next time I’ll throw it under the broiler for a minute or two to make sure the cheese curds get nice and melty, they kind of glommed up on this one.  Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be?  I don’t know, I’m no expert.  My brother is!!!  www.portlandpoutine.com

There’s a new blog out there, run by my bro, Dave.  All about Poutine in Portland.  What is Poutine, you say?  It’s french fries, cheese curds and gravy.  All together in one greasy-salty mass of excessiveness.  I’ve had Poutine exactly once, when I was in Canada, of course.  It’s the kind of dish everyone really should enjoy once a month or so.  Kinda like a Reuben sandwich.

Is there anywhere in Elko Nevada that you can get Poutine?  I doubt it.  But if I find one, I’ll let you all know!

Elko doesn’t have a lot of pizza choices.  You have Dominoes, Pizza Hut, Round Table, Pizza Barn and Papa Murphy’s.  We try to eat healthy most of the time, but when we get “the craving” we usually go for Papa Murphy’s or Dominoes since they are the cheapest.  If money were no object, it  would probably be Pizza Barn or Round Table.  Odd man out?  Pizza Hut.  They have sucked multiple times since we moved to Elko.  I don’t know if it’s just poor management, or a culture of disappointment fed from the parent company down to the franchises, but the one here in Elko really stinks.  We have eaten at the “all you can eat” buffet and had to wait 15-20 minutes for them to make pizzas to put out, and they are gone in 5 minutes and you have to wait 15-20 more minutes for them to make another pizza.  Of course, this happens at Round Table too.  The service at the Elko store is no excuse, though.  The people are just plain rude.  We’ve been there for the buffet when there was no silverware available.  The girl behind the counter looked at me like I had a third ear when I asked for some forks.  One time we were waiting for a carryout order.  Some other people picked up their order, went out to their car, came back in a minute later and told the pizza hut flunky that it wasn’t their order, and they had the gall to try to hand it straight over to us.  We said NO, you’re going to make us new pizzas. Who knows what those people did to the pizza once it was out of our sight?  Some snot-nosed kid probably grabbed a piece of pepperoni off of it with his plague-riddled fingers.  I’m not taking that chance.

So we haven’t been to the Elko Pizza Hut in about 2 years.  But the wife bought a $20 pizza hut gift card for someone last year and decided to give them something else.  It’s been rotting in her purse because we really don’t want to give Pizza Hut our business, but I’m such a tightwad I decided to try getting some free pizza for lunch on Sunday while we watched football.  Sounds easy, right?  I brought up pizzahut.com and tried to start a delivery order. DENIED!  We are out of the pizza hut “delivery area”.  We’re about 3.8 miles from the store, 8 minutes by google.  Probably faster in real life. But that’s too far for pizza hut!    FINE, I’ll put in a carryout order.  Stupid Pizza Hut made me put pants on.  So the website pops up multiple “deals” that I can choose from.  Sounds great, right? But some of them contradict themselves.  Check out these three:

Hmmm…which one would I choose?  Since I’m not a moron, I chose the first one.  $10.99 for the first pizza plus $8 for the second means $18.99, right?  Not in Pizza Hut World!  I selected a large Supreme, a “specialty” pizza.  Then I added a large Meat Lover’s, another “specialty” pizza.  Total price?  $22.57!  That doesn’t make any sense.  It’s not tax, since I checked and that gets added on the checkout page.  I tried multiple combinations of different large pizzas with different crusts and toppings, and it came out to $22.57 every time.  Since PizzaHut.com doesn’t show an actual menu with prices and won’t break down the charges on the website, there is really no way to know how it is coming up with $22.57.  If I remove the “extra” pizza, the price goes down to $10.99 like it is supposed to.  Add the second “$8″ pizza and the price jumps back up to $22.57. The other “deals” listed above came in at $23.57 and $24.57 respectively.

So since I was delusionally hungry, I decided to call the store thinking they would be able to sort all this out, right?  I talked to “Kendra”, or “Candy” or “Candra” or whatever the hell her name was.  I explained my problem and her level of cluelessness ranked right up there with my cat on the whole situation.  All she could do was list the two deals she knew about, which were lame.  I asked her what would happen if I did order from the website, and she said they would call me back and tell me I couldn’t have the pizzas for that price.  I’m not an expert, but I’m pretty sure that goes against the franchise agreement.  But I wouldn’t be surprised if an Elko store pulled a stunt like that.  Goes with the territory I suppose.  She offered to let me talk to the “manager” but after sitting on hold for 5 minutes, I gave up.  I had already wasted enough of my time.  I went to McDonalds instead.

I filled out a feedback form at pizzahut.com, I’ll keep you posted on the response.

PS, I saw the following listed in the FAQ at pizzahut.com.  Even if my issue were resolved I would NEVER order from pizzahut.com as long as they are affiliated with these two companies:

I learned about Reservation Rewards when I completed my order at pizzahut.com, and I have questions about the program. How can I reach Reservation Rewards?
Please call 1-800-732-7031 and the Reservation Rewards team will be happy to assist you.

I learned about Shopper Discounts & Rewards when I completed my order at pizzahut.com, and I have questions about the program. How can I reach Shopper Discounts & Rewards?
Please call 1-800-889-8776 and the Shopper Discounts & Rewards team will be happy to assist you.

I’ll let you do your own research on those two.

Stuff this weekend in Elko!
Octoberfest

Get your shnitzel on at the Octoberfest.  This Saturday at the Convention Center.  For more information call Lynn Rubel 738-4187

I realize it’s nothing like what they have in Portland, but hey, cut us some slack, it’s Elko, dammit.

Ruby Mountain Balloon Festival

The Ruby Mountain Balloon Festival is this weekend!  We saw some balloons land right in our neighborhood this morning! Saturday and Sunday events, check the website for all the details.

Summit Raceway

Some big races this weekend at the Summit Raceway over by the hospital.  Check out their website for all the details.

Below is the route we took from Elko to Vegas.  Note the right turn at Ely, which takes you to the “Lund Cutoff” on highway 318.  That cuts off about an hour from the alternate route on 93 through Pioche and Caliente.

It’s a pretty boring drive, most of it looks exactly like this:

But about an hour outside of Ely Andy had to pee (of course) so we stopped on the side of the road by this white horse:

So on to Part 2!   We woke up Saturday morning bright and early.  It was already hot.  We hit up the free buffet at the hotel for breakfast.  Cold runny eggs FTW!  Then the boys went swimming for about 2 hours.  I didn’t feel like swimming, so I sat under an umbrella, reading the newspaper and trying not to stare at the old people sunbathing.  I dragged the boys out of the pool around 11 so we could go do something else besides wasting the day away in the sun.
The hotel had a shuttle down to the strip, so we took it down to Bally’s.  We just walked through, looking at all the shops.  It connected to the Paris hotel/casino, where I purchased a strawberry daquiri in a giant vessel shaped like the Eiffel Tower.  I walked around sucking on this thing for about an hour before I realized how phallic it looked:

Lunch was at Fatburger! I ordered the large burger, which was a half-pound. A little dry, but not bad.  They make a XXL burger which has THREE half-pound burgers on it.  I saw a couple skinny guys buy them and try to eat them.  It wasn’t pretty.  I’m going to be honest with you, the main reason I went to Fatburger is because I’ve heard Notorious B.I.G. and the Beastie Boys mention Fatburger in their songs.  I’m not
ashamed.  After lunch we walked down to the MGM Grand to see the lions:

It was feeding time!  If you look closely at the bottom of the picture, you can see the reflections of a row of slot machines.  Classy!
The monorail brought us back to the hotel, where we all crashed for a couple hours.  We had a few hours to kill before the game, so we went back to the Pinball Hall of Fame.  I can’t get enough!  I tried a few of the older ones this time, the coolest of which was a Gottlieb “Challenger“, a head-to-head machine with a tilting playfield:

After pinball we stopped at Macdonalds for a quick dinner then headed to the Thomas and Mack Center at UNLV for the USA Basketball Showcase.  Our $35 seats were actually pretty darn good, about 20 rows from the court.  Best seats I’ve ever had for a basketball game.  The boys weren’t too excited but I had a good time.  Rudy Gay tore it up for 27, hitting shots from all over the court.  My boy Greg Oden played decently(7points, 10 boards, one block), but got burned a few times by Brook Lopez.  BROOK FREAKIN’ LOPEZ!  But I’m not worried, the Trailblazers will have a great season, mark my words.  Greg Oden is the blurry guy in the middle of this pic:

Yes, that was the best pic I had.  Greg is a very large man.

After the game we went back to the hotel to sleep.  I knew we had another long drive the next day so I didn’t want to stay up too late.  We got up around 8:00 in the morning, checked out of the hotel and hit up Fry’s when they opened at 9. Bought season 7 of MacGyver and loaded up on beef jerky and hit the road.  We made it back to Elko in just a tad over 6 hours.  430 miles so that is an average of around 80 mph.  Sometimes I like Nevada.